Which coach are you?

I have been involved with the sport of volleyball for about 30 years nows. I have been an athlete, a club director, official and a coach. I've been coaching longer than any of the other roles I've had in volleyball and over the years I have seen many styles of coaching. But I believe there are really only two types of coaches.

The first type of coach is what I refer to as the "ego" coach. I believe many get into coaching for selfish reasons, to get a personal need met from coaching children or young adults. Some coaches need the power that they are in control and it's easy to maintain control of children. I believe these types of coaches use fear to keep their athletes "in line". These are the coaches that yell, threaten, and have that "look" (you know the one, the evil eye).

Other "ego" driven coaches need the affirmation of being liked and admired. They develop relationships with their athletes that border on "family" relationships. There is no doubt times that coaches, players, and parents "click" but there always needs to be a professional relationship where the athlete recognizes that the coach is the "coach", not a mother/father, sister/brother, or aunt/uncle. (Unless, of course, they really are.)

Then there is the "ego" coach who needs to be powerful and successful, not that they necessarily will be both but that is the ultimate goal of this coach. This is the coach that will lie, cheat, or steal to make this happen. If they do not lie, cheat or steal they will get very close to it and personal integrity is not high on the list of character traits. If you find a coach that will ask you or your child to compromise your personal integrity beware, it won't be long before their lack of character will affect your child in a negative way.

These "ego" coaches can be one of the above or all of the above. I see many coaches like this, in many different sports and it's disheartening. "Ego" coaches will do whatever they can to "save face". What are we teaching our athletes, our children and young adults, by allowing them to compete for them and be influenced by them?

The other type of coach is the "giving"coach. These are the coaches who have either gotten into coaching for the right reasons or have matured enough that they have reached this place in their coaching careers.

How you can you tell if you've found a "giving" coach? These are the men and women who have the child's best interest at heart. They are constantly teaching and instructing the game and the skills. They have a fair sense of discipline but also allow the athletes to have fun. There is no sense of fear but of respect for a "giving" coach. Although these coaches enjoy being admired and liked they are also willing to be disliked for doing the "right" thing. Public image is not the driving force behind this type of coach; personal confidence, satisfaction, and integrity are the things that drives this coach. A "giving" coach will make decisions that are best for the athlete and team without lying, cheating or steal. Their personal integrity is more important than power, winning or being admired.

What type of coach are you?